If only it wasn't a dream

I dreamed of my daughter, Camara last night. I dreamed that she awoke from a long illness and was on the mend. I was able to see her smile and hear her coo. I was able to hold her in my arms and feel the warmth of her body and smell her sweet baby smell. It felt so real the tears streamed down my face and I begged God to let me not wake up. I wanted to stay in that moment forever holding my beautiful daughter. But, I did wake up to the realization that I will never hold her again. It has been almost 12 years since she passed away from Group B strep meningitis. Taking her last breath, while I held her in my arms with my husband by my side after 4 grueling  weeks. I had never dreamed of her before.If I had, it was never as vivid and real as last night. I miss her so. I miss what could have been.