Sharing my life with you, is what I do.

Saturday, November 24, 2012

Times Like These...lessons learned

To say this has been a crazy time in my life is a serious understatement. It has been full of extreme highs and lows.Subtle moments spent hovering right in the middle and a few dangling right over the edge, But, each of these moments have been mercy-filled because there has been a lesson in each one. My dad has end stage leukemia and has been placed in hospice care in his home. What an out of body experience that has been for me. He has been fighting prostate cancer, MDS and this now new diagnosis of leukemia for about 7 years. With each diagnosis, my dad has faced each with such bravery and grace, that has really taught me about how to really enjoy life and not let the "small stuff" weigh you down. Because if you do, the big stuff will totally destroy you. because of this, I was able to sit with my dad and help him write out his obituary. I felt honored that he asked to do this for him.

A very good friend of mine was diagnosed with breast cancer and I didn't feel afraid or sad for her. I was concerned, but the sound of her voice when she told me the news, was so calm and relaxed that I knew she would be fine. That hasn't stopped me from keeping her in my prayers every night though. She reminded to make sure I got my mammogram(which I had been putting off for years). Her cancer was found very early and I am so thankful for that.She just finished her radiation and now has to take medication for 5 years to make sure the cancer doesn't return. She has faced this challenge with exuberant optimism and I learned that I need to take better care of my body and do what I can to make sure I can continue to be here for my family.

On the flip side, I have also had the most awesome experiences lately. I was chosen as a spokesperson for Tyson Grilled and Ready Chicken. They have an upcoming Facebook promotion called 30 days, 30 Ways, 30 rewards. And, I am one of their "facebook faces". I was flown out to New York, taken to a wonderful restaurant, stayed in a really nice hotel, had hair and makeup done and a photo shoot. It was an incredible experience and I felt really blessed to have that opportunity. I learned that the dreams God has for us truly are often bigger than the ones we have for ourselves. I am going to use this blessing to eat better, get fit and keep working towards my goals.

And last but not least, I have mentioned before that I work on occasion as an extra for movies and TV shows. Well, I have had the pleasure of being a "regular extra" on the new NBC show, Chicago Fire. I have worked about 6 times this year and each time has been such an invaluable learning experience to me. I get to be in scenes with seasoned actors and watch them do their thing. It blows my mind sometimes when I realize that I am really there. I have worked as a background artist for 13 years, but this particular job really is such a blessing to me. I was on set just the other day and I was almost moved to tears because I felt like, WOW! This was something I was dreaming about just a year ago and now it is happening. I may not have a speaking role or my SAG card yet, but I am thankful to have what I have. I even got a surprise hug from one of the main actors! Now, if THAT wasn't a dream come true I don't know what was. I learned that when you feel like quitting because it isn't going as fast as you hoped it would, WAIT! We have to allow things to take place in God's time not ours. I almost gave up being an extra because I wanted something bigger and I felt like my dreams would never come true. So glad I didn't give it up, because I believe that I am just where I am supposed to be at this moment. Don't know what tomorrow will bring, but it will always bring a lesson. Maybe the lesson is gratitude, patience or just knowing that you are part of a bigger picture. Whatever the lessons, I await the next one.

Peace and Love ♥

Thursday, October 11, 2012

Color Me Excited





Hi everybody! Ever since I heard about this movie, I have been excited! It is something about this movie that just makes me feel all giddy inside. What movie am I speaking if? It's Wreck it Ralph of course! I guess all the arcade game characters in this movie makes me thing about my childhood and all the great times I had playing my favorite games with my big brother, Chris.

So, Wreck it Ralph is about an arcade game character named Ralph who is tired of being the bad guy in his game and sets out to prove that he too can be a hero. I won't tell you too much. I want you to go see it. It is rated PG and comes out on November 2. Check out the trailer.

For more information, visit Disney.com/wreck-it-ralph, like it on Facebook: facebook.com/WreckItRalph and follow on Twitter: twitter.com/disneyanimation.


Thursday, September 6, 2012

I'm back

Sorry, I have been away so long. I have been on my usual roller coaster of life. Well, lets get caught up shall we?

The school year has started and I am homeschooling my two youngest sons again. They are in 5th and 3rd grade. I always talk about how quickly the time is passing but just looking at my boys and how they are growing up and out of everything really brings it home. Our 8 year old's foot just grew a whole size in a few months AGAIN! My teenager is a Junior now. That means he only has one year left in highschool after this one.Why did I think he would a little boy forever? I guess I thought they all would. My oldest is an adult now, going on 22. That just boggles my mind.

The summer was pretty good. We didn't get the chance to go a lot of places or take a vacation, but we did have some good family moments. We welcomed a new family member. An English Mastiff puppy. He is 6 months old and has to be pushing 80 lbs! My husband wanted a big dog! Well he got one. I didn't fuss, he could have wanted a Porsche. Actually Gunther(the dog's name) may reach the size of one.

This is the 1st year I am actually looking forward to Autumn's cooler temps. The record breaking heat of this Summer wore me out. I have a new friend named, "hot flash", so I have my own personal Summer everyday. Really didn't need those almost 50+ days of 90 or above temps to help me out.

That is another thing. I turned 45 this year and my body said, "ooh I've got some new things to do to you this year". Along with the hot flashes came bifocals, a slowed down metabolism, decreased energy, increased lactose intolerance and sleepless nights where I can't fall asleep until after midnight, fully awake around 4 a.m. and exhausted by Noon. What the heck is this madness? And then when you tell people to get a bit of sympathy they say, "Oh just wait until you get hit with _______or when hair starts growing_____" WHAT!?

I don't find any of this funny. I find it actually a bit cruel. I mean after surviving the teen- age years. Everything else should be gravy! Instead my husband and I find ourselves comparing and on some occasions actually sharing pains. It is ridiculous! We are so tired and achy lately we couldn't even find the strength to give our son the full blown, lots of guests, balloons, and presents 10th birthday party he was hoping for. I know I know,...sad. Believe me, we beat ourselves up about it for about 10 minutes, then our meds we take for our numerous aches and pains kicked in and we figured the red velvet cupcakes and the Nintendo 3DS we bought him would tide him over until next year. The jury is still out on that one.

Oh well, time for me to start today's homeschool lessons. Right after I take a nap.

Peace and Love

Saturday, July 21, 2012

My Chevy Volt Adventure




Well, it really wasn't so much an adventure,  It was more like an "experience". I was given the opportunity to test drive the 2012 Chevy Volt through Klout.com. Klout is a website that connects people and measures their "influence" over Social in certain topics. In exchange for the influence, users of Klout are given "perks". These perks can be a range of things. I personally have received nail polish, a 4 piece wine set, Visa reward cards, all kinds of stuff. So anyway, for this particular perk, people in the Chicagoland area were able to sign up and receive a 2012 Chevy Volt to test drive from July 17-19. I was kinda nervous at first, wondering if they were really going to bring the car. Sure enough, it was delivered to my door. Crystal Red and all shiny! How cool!!! The guy who dropped it off(Steve), was so nice. He showed me all the bells and whistles in the car. And there were a lot! Onstar, built in phone, GPS, touchscreens, XM radio, and the best thing to me about the Volt was that it ran on electricity and gas!





It was a very smooth ride. When it was driven on the battery, you couldn't even hear it. Oh, by the way did I mention that it has a key-less ignition? As long as I had the keyfob in my purse or pocket, I could just push the power button and the car would start up. Another great feature is that if the charge ever went all the way down, the car would seamlessly switch over to gas without missing a beat. A full tank of gas held over 260 miles. So, if you didn't drive a lot and charged it up every night, you might have to put gas in it once a month! I really liked that!




The Chevy Volt is a 4 passenger car, so we couldn't all drive in it at the same time, but that was fine, we just took more trips in it so everyone could get a ride. After driving it the 1st day, I just parked it in the garage, plugged it into the outlet with the charger that came with it and charged it overnight. Super simple and it was all ready to go in the morning! Highway driving was just a smooth. Kicking into sport mode was fun! Acceleration and handling was amazing. My husband and I took it out grocery shopping. I know, I know. I have the chance to drive this great looking, sports car and I go grocery shopping. What can I say? I can tell you that the trunk space was more than adequate. We went to 4 stores and filled it up. Even my teenager remarked at how much we were able to fit in there. Another thing I loved was the rear back-up camera. Makes it really handy for parking and for watching out for people or children that might run out behind you. Well, as quickly as it came, it was time for them to pick it back up. My oldest son said I didn't drive it enough. He's right, I didn't. But, I did enjoy the time I had in it. My husband said he would have loved to own one if the sticker price wasn't $41,000!  That's my story! Hope you enjoyed it.


If you would like to know more about klout and how you can get some great perks of your own, check out http://klout.com/?i=1186931&v=dashboard_opt_in&n=gn. You do have to be a user of twitter or facebook to join though. Or, if you just like more information on the Chevy Volt you can get that here: http://www.chevrolet.com/volt-electric-car.html

On to the next adventure!

Disclosure: I received no compensation for this post. These are strictly my thoughts and opinions. Jocelyn A Dorsey 7-21-2012

Friday, July 13, 2012

New Disney Movies Coming Up






I just checked out the trailer for the new upcoming Disney movie, The Odd Life of Timothy Green. It definitely seems like something I would love to see. Check it out. I think you might like it too!



The Odd Life of Timothy Green comes to U.S. theaters August, 15th
Starring Jennifer Garner and Joel Edgerton
Rated PG

Website and Mobile site: Disney.com/OddLife
Like us on Facebook: Facebook.com/OddLifeMovie
Follow us on Twitter: Twitter.com/DisneyPictures
 

Friday, July 6, 2012

Heat Wave of 2012


If you live in the United States, then I am sure you are aware that most of the Country is in the grips of a heat wave. Here in Chicago, we have had a entire week of over 90 degrees and the past 4 days have been in the 100's. It has been pretty uncomfortable outside, so much so that we haven't ventured out much at all. My mom has been hanging out with us to ride out this heat. Fans just won't do the trick in these extreme temps.Things have been a bit different lately. Waking up after 9 a.m. has become routine. I have watched a lot of episodes of Leave it To Beaver and The Andy Griffith Show with my mom. (Her favorites)A huge break from my HGTV and Food Network routine. And, we have dusted off the Scrabble set to pass the time.  This is the 1st time I have ever felt stir-crazy from being stuck in the house in the Summer. I am more accostumed to being trapped indoors during the winter all snuggled up with a blanket, but this is just weird to me. I am the Summer person! I am the one that cries when the leaves start to change colors because I know that Winter is coming. I am supposed to be rejoicing in the abundance of warm weather that we have had pretty much since March. But, here I sit,shades drawn, AC on Full blast. Cup of ice water near by at all times and no plans to do anything. I glance ever so often at my ipad and wince at the temps that seem to climb every hour. At last glance, it was 102 with a heat index making it feel every bit of 108! Tomorrow it is expected to only hit 95. AAAHHH! That sounds wonderful! This experience has taught me a lot. Here are a few of the things I have discovered a few things since this all began:

1. When stuck in the house, a person tends to eat more often. And it doesn't seem to matter what it is.

2. The Cleavers always dressed like they were going out on the town. And if a town like Mayberry existed today, I would move there.

3. Our 2 hour Maximum on daily video game playing is suspended until the heat goes away.

4. If you look out the window and there are no birds flying, it is probably too hot to be out there.

5. However, if you look outside and there is a Vulture flying around, you should DEFINITELY NOT go outside!

6. Ice Makers make ice extra slow on hot days. Always keep an extra bag of ice handy.

7. Ice Cream is an acceptable substitute for vegetables.

8. Moving to Arizona doesn't seem like such a good idea anymore. But, I still want to visit. (In January)

9. Last but not least. When you play Scrabble, count the tiles! We have tiles from multiple games in one box and my mother won't end the game until ALL the tiles are used! ☺ There has to be 200 tiles in there!

Stay Cool Everybody
Peace

Saturday, June 30, 2012

Wildlife in The City

The end of another month. School is out, the weather is hot and today there was a vulture in my backyard. Yep! You read that correctly. There was an actual Turkey Vulture sitting on a cell phone tower outside my back window. Even though, I had never seen one outside of our local zoo, there was no mistaking that huge, black, kinda hump-backed bird. He sat up there at the top of that cell-phone tower surveying the land. It was a bit unnerving. Knowing that this creature with what looked like an 8 foot wingspan, was right there looking for something that had died for him to eat. Recently, we have had an influx of animals that have decided to reclaim their territory. Hawks, Eagles, foxes, Deer,coyotes and now the Vultures have all recently been spotted in my very urban neighborhood. It is really an amazing thing to see. In fact, I have actually seen more "wild" animals in the city than I ever saw on our road trips to the country. All we need are a few cows and horses and I'm all set.

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

104 days of Summer Vacation huh?

Whew! These past couple of weeks have been crazy! The school my two youngest boys were attending decided to have a million different programs the last week of school. Then right before that was my birthday, my sister's birthday, my mom went on vacation and countless other things that had me pulled in more directions than usual. Anyway, we made it to Summer break and now it is time for my youngest son's birthday! I can't believe that my baby is turning 8. Just the mention of how quickly they are growing up makes my husband's eyes well up with tears. I must admit the thought of my last two boys growing up gets me a bit "verklempt". But, I won't dwell. The Sunny Season has definitely started off hot here in Chicago! 13 days of 90 degree weather so far and today is officially the 1st day of Summer. I have all these places to go with the boys lined up in my head, but if the weather stays like this, we will be putting some tents down in our basement and camping out down there. Even though there are no shortage of places to go and things to do here in the city, it is still hard to find the time to do them. The biggest hurdle is getting my boys up dressed, teeth brushed, hair combed and out the door. That alone can make me want to take a nap. On top of that, they have gotten to the age where unless we are going to the zoo, Navy Pier, Six Flags or somewhere that has Laser Tag and video games, they don't want to go. What happened to my little guys who used to get excited about going to the market to look at all the cool fruits and vegetables? Yeah I know, I was lucky they ever did that in the first place! It's just that, now it takes planning. Because they want to be dressed certain way and they want to do something that's not "boring". But sitting downstairs in front of a tv with a game controller in your hands for 6 hours isn't boring right? Oh well, we will see what adventures we will have over the break. I'll keep you posted!

Saturday, June 2, 2012

Time Flies

I was reminded yesterday that I am indeed getting older. I mean I know I am but, sometimes it just hits me in the face. I went to see the daughter of one of my oldest friends ( who is really more like a sister)go to prom. It felt so weird. I remember holding her in my arms and burping her over my shoulder. And there she was, all dressed up and looking so beautiful. Her mom and I shared a hug as she drove off and I had to choke back tears. Not so easy to do this morning as I type this and realize that, WOW! I really am a " grown up". My brother and I had a conversation recently about how we actually forget just how old we are. We feel so much younger inside. We sound like we did when we were younger, we laugh at the same things, but we are not the same. We are older, grayer, wider and hopefully wiser. Looking at photos of my boys can invoke this feeling of "who am I?" also. These can't be my children standing as tall or taller than me. I was just making you bottles and searching for your favorite binky in the middle of the night. As I approach another birthday next week, God willing. I hope I never lose that young feeling I have inside. But I really need for these kids of ours to slow down a bit. Plus, I just got invited to go play laser tag without my children. And I plan to have fun!

Saturday, May 26, 2012

It's Barbecue Season

I love it when my mom's birthday falls on either Memorial Day or that weekend. It just gives me double the reason to light my grill, cook a bunch of great food and have family over to enjoy it. This is one of those years. Now, it's not like my family needs a reason to celebrate and get together. It can be something as simple it being the 2nd Wednesday of any given month. We love to gather, laugh, cook and eat. But, when it is coupled with beautiful weather, it is even better. On top of that, I got a free box of McCormick seasonings and sauces to try out from this website called Crowdtap. www.crowdtap.com. They have a lot of different opportunities to try and test out different products. This one came just at the right time. I have my beef ribs and chicken all rubbed down and marinated.

How are you going to enjoy this Holiday Weekend? How ever you do, I hope you have a wonderful time.

Peace

Thursday, May 24, 2012

Too Hot To Cook (or eat)









The super warm temps have come to Chicago. This is always a hard for me as a mom because I never know what to fix for dinner. When I was growing up, this was perfect weather for tuna salad, my grandmother's chicken salad, or, my mom's seafood pasta salad. They would always line the bowl with lettuce and place the salad in the middle. You get a big pile of crackers and a tall glass of lemonade or iced tea and that is all you needed. Perfect warm weather meal. I still make the salads today. The only difference is my sons don't like them. My husband loves those salads, but those boys of mine are another story. I figured that they should be tired of eating so many hot dogs, tacos, hamburgers and grilled cheese sandwiches by now. 

I keep trying to get them to try something new, but they are a stubborn bunch.Since this is the holiday weekend, I plan on cooking everything I can outside on the grill. That way, all I have to do next week is add a side dish or two. But, in my house even that can be difficult. They don't like potato salad or egg salad(not a fav of mine either) and only some of boys eat cole slaw. Maybe they would try a nice cold spaghetti salad. (Probably not). Feel my pain?

Do you have any favorite,quick, go to recipes that you pull out on those superhot "refuse to turn on the oven" days?

PLEASE! share them in the comments.
Stay Cool.

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Slow Down

I find myself always stressed out lately. I feel tired, cranky and short-tempered. My forehead is being etched with frown lines. Who is this person? Luckily, the Gemini that I am can see me freaking out and talk me down from a full-blown meltdown. I have been trying to figure out why I feel like this. There isn't anything that is particularly overly stressful in my life that should cause my shoulders to be in the knots that they are in every single day. I can't blame my children. They are just children. They are kind, and polite. They are are also loud, busy and demanding. Normal.But this is what every parent goes through. This shouldn't have me like this. I have a home, a working car, a hardworking, supportive husband. Money to pay all my bills. Yet, I feel like I could just burst into tears at any moment. I dream of getting on a plane somewhere near the ocean and just staying there. Away from all of the noise, deadlines and mandatory stuff that has to be done on a daily basis like, cleaning the house, washing clothes, making sure homework is done, fixing dinner, etc....

While looking for medicine to ease my headache and ongoing shoulder pain, I came across a facebook post from a good friend of mine named, Bridget Heffernan Mendel. She is always a wonderful source of information on education, funny stuff and great resources for parents and children. Well, she shared a great post today and I want to share it with you. It helped me realize that one of the reasons I feel the way I do is that, we are in a constant state of rushing. Rushing to do everything. To eat, sleep, get to school, get to work. everything is rushed. We have forgotten how to live in the moment. I tried to meditate one day and about 500 thoughts flooded my head like an electronics sale on Black Friday. Crazy! I have forgotten how to relax.

Anyway, I am sharing a link to the post. it is by a woman named, Cathy Cassani Adams. If you feel or have ever felt this way, read it. It might help. I promised myself to also try and incorporate this exercise into my week. (if i can find the time).
 http://www.chicagonow.com/self-aware-parent/2012/05/five-minute-meditation-for-busy-parents/

Peace

Thursday, May 17, 2012

Action!

Every time I look up, another month has gone by. It has been a pretty eventful month too. I just finished working on the set of the STARZ series, BOSS starring Kelsey Grammer. This wasn't my 1st time working on this show, but it was the first time i have had the pleasure of being on set with my entire family. All six of us! What an awesome experience that was! It was my 21 year old and my 16 year old's baptism into the world of being a "background artist". They jumped right in and did a great job. My little guys, Ky and MJ are old pros at it now. They have worked on BOSS and the new series, Chicago Fire which will premiere this fall on NBC. They fit right into it so easily. They even have the lingo down already. 'extras holding", "checking the gate" and their favorites, "lunch and that's a wrap"! It was an absolutely gorgeous, sunny day on set Tuesday. That made it even better to be out with my family.  I have shot in every kind of weather and we couldn't have asked for anything better to be shooting outside in. My husband actually had the chance to play a Cook County Sheriff for the day. He was all suited up and had all of the "cop props". It was a lot of fun watching him pretend to arrest the bad guys. I enjoy being an extra because it gives me a chance to do something I really love. I marvel at how sets are created and how shots are lined up to get just the right emotion or action. I feel very fortunate to have been able work in so many movies and TV shows over the years. And, while my ultimate dream is to actually get a role one day, I am just thankful that more production companies are bringing their work here to Chicago and that I get to be a small part in some of them. I have met some of the coolest people on these sets and some great friendships have been forged. That makes all the long days and crazy weather worth it. And now that my boys are involved, we have even more stories and things to laugh about.



Live Your Passions! Life is short!



We Have A Winner!

The winner of the Marvel Avenger's Prize Pack: Cindy C.

Thanks to all of those who entered this giveaway! I really appreciate you visiting the blog. And a special thanks to the new followers. I plan to bring you some more great giveaways in the near future. Tell your friends about the blog! Congrats, Cindy C!

Peace and Love

Monday, April 30, 2012

A Grateful Heart

I greet you this morning with a grateful heart. I was sitting at my computer, drinking a very large cup of pomegranate green tea. When all of a sudden, this feeling of sheer gratitude washed over me. A big smile came to my face as I realized how truly blessed I am. I have a wonderful family and I have had some really great experiences in my life. As I have said before I'm sure, we get so caught up in the drudgery of our day to routines, that we forget all the really cool things we have done and how amazing our lives really have been. At least, I know I do. When I laid my head down last night, I was a stressed out mess. My head hurt, my shoulders were tense and aching and I felt like I couldn't make it another day. I have had that feeling a million times, so I know that is when I need to recharge. I said my prayers, kissed my little ones and got some rest. I woke up, got the boys ready for school and out the door and that's when I thought, "Hmmm. I did make it another day". My head doesn't hurt and my shoulders don't ache and I am thankful. Thankful, grateful and blessed. In this moment, all is right with my world. And even if the rest of my day is crazy and chaotic and yes, stressful. I will try and remember this moment, this feeling and hold on to the realization that no matter what, with God's grace, I can make it another day.

Here's hoping you find that moment in your own lives today.

Peace and Love, Everybody

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Marvel Avenger's Giveaway!!!

It's been a little while since I have had a chance to do a giveaway. So, this one is a great way to get the ball rolling again. The fantastic people at Marvel are giving you the opportunity to win a fabulous prize pack!








 

Monday, April 23, 2012

Passing it on

Goodness, this year is just flying by! April is almost over. It makes me feel weird inside like I have to hurry up and do stuff. The swiftly passing months and years, feel me with a sense of urgency to not waste time on trivial things. I have to remember what's important and what isn't. Family is always important to me. So is creating and having those experiences that they will hold on to a lifetime. One such recent moment was when I took my sons with me to the food pantry where I do volunteer work. I could imagine them asking me a million times when we were going home. To my surprise, they never did that. They got right to work, helping me with the bags filled with meat, fruit and vegetables. They watched as the numbers were called and person after person came up to receive their food. It was the busiest day the food pantry had seen in a long time. We gave out almost 400 bags! We emptied out every shelf, refrigerator and freezer in the pantry that day. Some of the last bags hardly had anything in them, but the people were still grateful to receive them.

We finished up our work and began our walk back home. My 9 year old son, MJ looked up at me and said, "That is the kind of work I want to do all the time." He went on the say, "I will never take my food for granted again".

 To hear my son say that he was blessed to have the food he does everyday,warmed my heart. I am not sure who got more out of working at the pantry that day, but I was really glad to share that experience with my little guys. I'm not really even sure if that experience will stay with him, but I certainly won't ever forget.

Peace

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

BLOG! Darn it. BLOG!!!!

That's how I feel a lot of mornings. I want to blog and share stuff with everyone, but I am really feeling out of sync. Maybe it's the constant chaos of the kids, house, grades, car troubles, bills etc... And on top of all that, we have construction going on right next door to my house Monday-Saturday starting at 7:00 a.m. And this is no simple home renovation, let me tell you. This is a full blown, knocking out concrete walls, jack hammer, power saw, valium needing construction job! But, I digress.

I do have something to share with you. I think I may be in the middle of a mid-life crisis. This year, (God willing) I will be 45 years old. I have been wondering exactly which direction to go in now with my life. I have lots of interests and I even have a few talents. I just can't seem to make up my mind as to what I should be doing.

Maybe I don't have to do just one thing. I mean, I have never been the type of person that just focused on one thing. I always have a million things going on in my head at one time. I guess that's why I forget to write  the blog. There are days when I write everyday, and then POOF! Nothing for a month or so. I do have to remember though that I started writing the blog as a form or relaxation. I think I get caught up in reading all the other blogs out there and seeing what they are doing that I lose my focus. I just do want to be so scattered all the time. I want to be able to have an answer when people ask me what I do.

There's that word again. (FOCUS) Let me pause a moment and take a breath.....

My thoughts are all over the place and I will start to ramble on if I don't just take a minute. I think I need to regroup and figure out just what it is I actually want. I do know that I have always wanted to act and I help kids. I think about it everyday. People say, "Go to school. Be a teacher." I never wanted to do that. O still don't I think of doing it, but I more for them than myself.  I always wanted to be artsy and creative and hang out with groovy people. (yeah, I said groovy) I always envisioned myself traveling the world, speaking at least eight different languages and taking the money I had earned from acting to open up youth centers or something like that. Places where kids could go after-school and feel safe, get help with homework. The kind of place where they could take an acting, art, music, dance class or just know there was someone there they could talk too.

Sometimes, I get sad because it feels like I won't be able to do that.I mean, honestly there aren't too many 45 year old black women getting discovered in Chicago and going to Hollywood. But, the sadness goes away when I realize that even though I may never get that big movie role, I may be able to help someone else live their dreams. I start with my kids. They are a lot like me. ( not sure if that is bad or good yet) They have a lot of talents and dreams, but they have no idea what they want to do yet and that is okay. Even though colleges are bombarding my 16 year old with brochures about his future as a mechanical engineer. I secretly hope he decides to follow his dreams of living in Italy and designing cars. Even if that means he doesn't go to college. I just want them all to be happy.

I have no desire to live my life through my sons though. Their lives are their own. I want them to be able know that it's okay to not know it all and to keep rediscovering themselves in the process.

Hmm? I think I just had a "light bulb moment".(don't tell Oprah I used her phrase). Turning 45 doesn't mean I have to have it all figured out. I am still in the process of discovering who I am too.I can still dream and hope and learn new things about myself. I guess that's what life is. At least for me anyway.

I close out the blog today feeling much better than when I started it.

I remember the words to a song that I call my "theme song".
It is called,  UNWRITTEN by Natasha Bedingfield

I am unwritten, can't read my mind, I'm undefined
I'm just beginning, the pen's in my hand, ending unplanned


Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find


Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten



Yep! And that's just fine with me. Peace and Love ♥

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Spring Break 2012

Spring break could not have come soon enough for me this year! It has been a serious roller coaster ride this school year. But isn't it always a trip when you have kids? They were really getting antsy those last couple of days in school. Luckily, my husband is also off this week so that has made the week even better. My boys have been enjoying their week so far. They have been content to go to the park, ride their bikes and play the occasional video game. We have also celebrated Earth Hour, gone bowling, had a play date, done lots of bird watching (where discovered two new sparrow species to our feeders) and built lots of things out of legos. The week is going so fast though! I had planned all these wonderful outings and figured we would get out everyday and visit the museums and the aquarium and see the sites of our city. I should have learned by now that that never, EVER turns out the way I see it in my head. I am really not disappointed at all though. The extra hours of sleep have been welcomed. I think we should learn to take more cues from our children. We can have the grandest of ideas and plans, when all that is required is an open ear and a willingness to walk up and down the basement stairs to see the latest masterpiece made out of cardboard boxes.

I do still hope to get out to at least one museum before the week is over. And then the serious countdown begins.

To what you say? SUMMER BREAK!

Not sure who wants it more this year. Them or me.

Peace

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

And Away We Go!



Since the weather has been so gorgeous the past few weeks, my two youngest sons have been enjoying being able to go outside and play after they finish their school work. I usually let them play for about an hour or more while I finish up dinner. I am always nervous about them playing out in front because we live on a busy main street and for some reason, little boys and asphalt always seem to meet. So as they play, I pray.

So today, as I am sitting in the kitchen, my 9 year old runs in the house. "Mommy, mommy come quick"! I instantly go into "which voice is this" mode. He is smiling and happy so the panic subsides. I race to the door to see what has him so excited. I step outside to see my 7 year old riding his bike for the first time without training wheels! His dad is proudly running behind him. Wow! Look at my baby go. I can't believe he is riding.In my head I am transported to 1994 when my now 21 year old son took his first solo 2 wheel ride. My how the time does fly. Now my youngest is out there, just pedaling away like he has been doing it for years. I ran in the house to grab my camera. As I downloaded the pictures to see what I had captured, my eyes filled with tears. My 9 year old was riding side by side with his little brother. He looked up at me for a moment and gave me a thumbs up. Way to go guys! Mommy loves you so much!

Monday, March 19, 2012

Up and Runnin'

You ever wake up in the morning and instantly know you are late? That's how we started our Monday today. For some reason I woke up with a gasp. Something wasn't quite right. It was daylight! That is a dead giveaway. Oh no! What time is it? I looked at the clock AAHHH! 7:10 a.m. A million questions go through my head in 1.5 seconds. Did I sleep through my alarm? Did I miss my teenagers daily knock on the door? Did I miss getting my see ya later hug? Nope. He was asleep too! In fact, everybody was in a state of comfortable relaxed slumber. I really hated having to shatter that by banging on the doors and turning on the lights. WAKE UP! WAKE UP! We're late!!! Come on, come on. Get up!!!

The teenager, who is supposed to be out the door by 6:30 has not yet learned the art of dressing, eating, brushing teeth and running out the door at the same time! This art has definitely died out with the laid back teens of today.(and a lot of adults too)

The 9 and 7 year old figure that since they woke up 10 minutes later than usual, they should stay home from school. NOT! Although the thought of returning to my bed did cross my mind.(several times!)

The bad thing is, my husband who is also not ready to get up, has to drive the teenager to school because rush hour is over and his usual hour commute will now be a two hour commute if he takes the bus.

So, let's review:

Woke up hour and a half late.

Teenager: moves like a snail and still has to iron clothes because he didn't get his clothes ready last night (like we tell him every night)

9 and 7 year olds: figure that summer vacation should start immediately because the weather is warm and they want to ride their bikes and go to the playground. (I kinda agree with them on this one)

Husband: Isn't happy because he has to face Monday morning traffic AND use up some of the precious $70 dollars worth of gas we just put in our car. ( I totally agree with him on this one)

Me: After I hurry and make the lunches that I should have made last night I realize, it's just another day in a household with over-tired parents. There will never be enough hours in the day.(or night)

And,I am seriously putting more thought into booking that family trip to Florida instead of putting all that money toward paying off the gutters on our house. Obviously, we need a vacation.


Happy Monday Everybody,

Peace and Love