Sharing my life with you, is what I do.

Monday, November 30, 2015

What's Jocelyn Watching?

Seriously? Almost 2 months has passed since I last posted? WOW! Well, I have been pretty busy with my new grandson. That's right, I am a grandma! 
Anyway, I have been watching lots of movies lately. I had the chance to check out; Tomorrowland, Inside Out, The Peanuts Movie and, I Origin.  All totally different movies, but I enjoyed them all. 

Tomorrowland surprised me. I really thought it was going to be super sweet and sappy and stuff, but that was definitely not the case. Not sure why I thought that but,glad I was wrong. The movie is about some very serious topics and I think that Hugh Laurie delivers an extremely awesome monologue in the movie. It was funny,serious and touching as well.  You know I hate to give anything away , just watch it. This movie is rated PG and is  probably more suited to the 11 and older crowd for some mildly violent situations. 

Next up, Inside Out. 
This movie was great! I watched it with my 11 year old son and we both felt everything the main character, Riley was feeling. This movie took you on a rollercoaster ride of emotions,but left you smiling. The animation is awesome (as usual) and the storyline is clear and straightforward.I can see them doing a sequel for this one. Some of the content might be lost on younger children. But,they will love how colorful the characters are. Recommended for 10 and up. Rated PG
The Peanuts Movie
I thought this movie was wonderful. It was really awesome sharing this new Peanuts movie with characters I have loved forever, with my sons. The makers of this movie did an amazing job finding voice actors for the beloved Peanuts characters. It sounded as if they used the same ones from long ago. The story was classic Peanuts with awesome messages of friendship and perseverance. I even found myself with a bit of a lump in my throat at one point during the movie. But, that's not surprising. Lately,the animated movies have been tugging at my heart strings. It was a pleasure watching a true G rated movie, those are a rarity these days. No sneaky adult jokes in this movie at all. How refreshing! Everybody can see this one, and I hope they do. 
Lastly, I Origin.
I saw a poster for this last year and for some reason, I was attracted to it. I finally watched it the other night and it blew me away. I am not really sure I can describe this movie, except to say that it really spoke to me. I Origins is spiritual in a very non-preachy way. It is strange, weird and magical all in the same breath. The story is not predictable at all. The characters are multi-faceted and open minded and it leads the viewer to follow the same path. I will definitely watch this mildly complex piece of sci-fi again, as I am sure I will get even more out of it, the 2nd time around. This movie is rated R for adult situations and brief nudity. 
Well that's all for now. Keep the popcorn poppin'! 

Tuesday, October 13, 2015

Why I stopped watching some of my once favorite tv shows

Let me start out by saying that I have absolutely NOTHING against any of the shows I will be talking about today. I wish them continued success and I especially love the fact that Empire keeps filming in Chicago, because it keeps a lot of talented people I know employed(myself included). Okay, now that that is out of the way, I'll start.

I watch a LOT of television. I always have. I love all kinds of shows except for the vampire, witch, zombie ones. Just not my thing. Anyway, I started out watching Scandal, How to get away with murder, Scandal, Empire and totally enjoyed them. But, recently I started really feeling "icky"after watching the shows. I am not sure if it was the constant impending doom, the gratuitous sex scenes    (and I do mean GRATUITOUS!!), the extreme violence,or the combination of all three in the same show.  I'm not quite sure what it was. I mean, I am no prude,okay?  I don't mind adult drama one bit. In fact,I like them. I think I have justgotten overwhelmed by how television has changed, lately. It isn't only those shows. I watched the 3rd episode of Heroes Reborn on my DVR and was shocked by the graphic violence right at the beginning of the show. I won't mention the scene in case you haven't seen it yet, but it was like,WHOA! I think I am longing for a simpler time. The time of my youth. When the entire family could sit together and watch prime time. Now, we weren't without our shows back then. I remember when SOAP came out. Oh my goodness! People had a fit. However, If that show had come out today, it would be shown on Nickelodeon.  The thing is, those shows were few and far between, back then. Nowadays, the majority of the shows are like this. And, like I said before, I watch a lot of them. I have been trying to figure out my change. I think of lot of it has to do with the fact that I can literally watch those shows and then see a lot of the same scenarios later that night on the evening news. The line has gotten very thin between reality and drama shows. Maybe it also has something to do with the fact that I live in Chicago and we just had the most violent September in decades. I truly believe I have a case of sensory overload. It is difficult to take in these situations day in and day out.

So, some of you might say, "Just stop complaining and turn off the tv!" I have thought of that. Believe me I have tried. A better solution for me has been to stop watching certain shows and start watching channels like MEtv. MEtv shows a lot of classics like Laverne and Shirley,Welcome Back Kotter, MASH and so many more. I look for my favorites like; Living Single, Everyone Loves Raymond, Night Court, Barney Miller and A Different World. I have even started buying some on DVD so I can have entire seasons.

The thing about tv is, despite the change in content over recent years, there is still something for everyone. But, Prime time definitely isn't what it used to be. And for me personally at times it can be a bit rough. So tonight, I will probably watch NCIS and someone will die before the first commercial. So knowing this,I will make sure not to watch the news tonight, so I can sleep. I guess I just need to find that balance.And, while I probably still won't start watching Scandal, How To Get Away With Murder and Empire again,because I have grown tired of their story lines. I will continue to peruse what's out there and determine just how much my, "child of the 70's system" can take. 

Tuesday, May 19, 2015

My problem with the upcoming Minions movie

I was watching the trailer for the upcoming prequel to Despicable Me, Minions the other night, and I was left with my mouth hanging open in shock. What had me in such a tizzy, you ask? Well, it was a couple things, but mostly it was the end shot of one of the cute little yellow guys in a red thong with his butt hanging out. WHAT!!!?.... HOW!!!??..... WHY!!??? is this even a thing? Seriously, Why? I LOVE the Despicable Me movies and the Minions, and eventhough I had a wee bit of problem with one of the minions in a French maid's costume in one of the earlier movies, it was no where near as eyebrow raising as the red thong. There is also a scene with one of them in hot tub with 2 yellow fire hydrants that appear to be suggest naked women. Come on is it really necessary to have these types of images in a movie that is so heavily marketed towards children? I wondered if I was being overly sensitive, so I showed my sons. They range in age from 25 to 10. They all felt the same way I did. That having the cute, lovable minion in a thong showing his butt was inappropriate. I was instantly sad too, because I really wanted to take my two youngest sons to see the movie because we are HUGE fans. Now I am not so sure I will. I might, but I am not sure, yet. Now, before any of you get all mad and make rude comments or think I am sheltering my children from the world blah, blah, blah, calm down. If my sons still want to go see the movie, I will take them. One, because they are old enough to understand that adults sometimes put weird, unnecessary stuff in "kid's" movies and two, because we openly discuss things that we feel are inappropriate in movies and on television. Sometimes we disagree. But not this time. I am sure we will laugh our heads off at the movie, as we have done at the previous 2. However, I will wince every time something adult comes across the screen and feel sad that movie makers feel this is cute. Have you seen the trailer I am talking about? Well, watch it  below and tell me what you think.  

Wednesday, May 13, 2015

Just a quick post for ya!

So, I have been thinking about blogging. I really have. I just haven't gotten around to it. I have had so many things on my plate lately, it has been nutty. Here's the condensed version. I finished working another season on Chicago Fire. I am going back to work doing craft services on another independent film in June, and we have a new puppy named Piper. I have started taking picture again. Just  of the birds outside my back window for now, but it feels good. I am still homeschooling my two youngest sons. That is an adventure in itself. And last but not least, I am going to be a grandmother! Not really rolling off the tongue yet, but inside I am as giddy as a child, with a pocket full of change, hearing the ice cream truck on a hot Summer day. Yeah, I find myself quietly looking at baby clothes and thinking of the lullabies I will sing him. I can't help think about how quickly the time has passed. My first born son is having a son. WOW!

The baby is due later this Summer and I know my son will be an awesome dad. I am sure my blogging will pick up with stories our newest family member. So, thanks for reading. Please follow my blog and stay tuned for more posts.

Sunday, February 15, 2015

My Illusion of Happiness

  I was thinking this morning about what would happen if I was finally able to move away from Chicago. I have always had it in my mind that if only I was in a place where it never snowed and the temps were warm all year round, I would be immensely happy. And of course, because I live in a warm climate, I definitely have to be at least 60 lbs lighter. Then there's no way I couldn't be happy. I mean, who couldn't be happy being thin and living where the sun always shines? And now that I am skinny, have a nice tan from my new zipcode, success is going to fall into my lap. Because I have truly never seen an overweight, unsuccessful, depressed person that lived in California, Arizona, Florida or anywhere else that is warm and tropical. It just can't happen, can it?

   Think I'm crazy yet? Well, don't sign the commitment papers yet. This is truly how part of me thought. I figured that my happiness lay in getting the heck out of Chicago, the Midwest. Hell, maybe even the entire United States. As I write this, I am looking out my dining room window, watching the snow fall. Again. It is quite beautiful. I have no desire to go out and take a walk in it. And, I truly wish that it would all be melted, be 75 degrees tomorrow and every day after that. But, since it's not, I have to be happy with what I have right now. And that is a reasonably warm house and an awesome window to see the snow falling.

   A lot of people tell me that I inspire them with my upbeat outlook on life and my positive attitude. Truth is, that's not really me. Not that I don't believe what I say, because I do 100%. I just have trouble applying it to my own life. And, while I do try to stay positive and have an upbeat outlook, I spend a lot of time being angry, depressed and downright resentful at times. And somehow I always seem to gravitate to the thoughts of, "If I could just get out of Chicago. If I could just be thinner. If someone could just give me an acting role or a great paying opportunity, then...."

  I learned today just how full of shit I can be sometimes. I resented my husband for making me stay in Chicago this long. I have told him over and over again how it was never my intention to stay here this long. And because of his job, that has strict residency rules, I was stuck in this horrible city and it was all his fault that I wasn't able to pursue my dreams. I am pretty sure I actually said those exact words to him. And, if I didn't, I sure as hell made him feel like that. And That's Sucks!

  Truth is. My husband has an wonderful job! He is an Engineer for the Chicago Fire Department. I am very proud of the work he does and the man that he is today. That job of his that has me stuck, has allowed us to purchase a home. Gives me the freedom to not have to work and stay home with and raise our sons. It has not stopped me from pursuing any of my dreams. I did that all on my own.

   I let a "victim" attitude stop me. I said to myself, "He made me stay here, so I can't be successful. This cold weather keeps me indoors so I can't get outside to walk and lose weight. There aren't any opportunities for me here in Chicago, I need to be in L.A. or Atlanta." All those are lies I have told myself  for far too long, They made me into the person that I finally saw today. And I was so sorry for her. I gave up on my dreams. I told myself I couldn't achieve them. I didn't feel good enough, thin enough, worthy enough. And, I blamed my husband and my location on me not getting up and following after my passions. I blamed everything and everyone, when it was really my being too afraid to make a mistake that I became a prisoner in my own head.

   I happened to be watching Oprah's OWN station and happened across her Super Soul Sunday shows and one I had never seen called, In Deep Shift . For whatever reason, I watched that network for 5 hours straight. Now, A lot of the stuff I heard today, I have heard many times before. And, it made sense to me. But, today was the 1st time it really resonated through every fiber of my being. I felt this grief come over me because I realized that over 20 years ago, I allowed myself  to stop living my life. I did lots of  amazing things, but I never let myself really go after my dreams. I threw myself into "wifedom" and motherhood. Not that, that was bad in anyway. But, I told myself that I was sacrificing everything for them and I wasn't getting anything in return. How selfish is that? I have been richly blessed. My life has been full of wonderful experiences and opportunities. And, I adore being a wife and mother. I have said all this before, how did I forget?

   I didn't forget. I think part of me just used my unhappiness with myself and twisted it to feed my feelings of inadequacy.Well, I am praying that after the life lessons I learned today, I can truly move forward. I still have a lot of work to do on myself, but I finally saw me and the harm I was doing. Damn! That was sobering. I apologize to my husband for making him feel like that. But, mostly I apologize to myself for holding my own self back. For letting me think so poorly of myself at times, that I forgot that I have a purpose in life. And that until I fix me, it doesn't matter where I live. Artic Chicago or Sunny California. Happiness and Acceptance have to start within.

Tuesday, January 13, 2015

A Brighter Day

Mondays can be especially drab and draggy in the Dorsey household. But not yesterday. I managed to get out of bed before 10:00 am. The boys were showered, dressed and had eaten as well. We got to our daily lessons. And, I had a reasonably healthy breakfast of  Greek coconut yogurt mixed with pineapple tidbits, wheat toast and a cup of coffee.

I think getting things off my chest also helped. I wrote a long blog Sunday night about how I had been feeling lately and went to bed. I am usually excited to see if anyone had read it, but this time I didn't care. I figured people would think I was just being an ungrateful, complainer. I really wasn't trying to come off like that. I was really just trying to be honest about how I felt.

Anyway, today is a new day and even though my thoughts are still all over the and place and I am no closer to figuring out which direction to go in, I feel better. I am thankful for every experience and opportunity I have ever had. I am thankful for all the amazing people I have met. I am thankful that I have an extremely supportive husband that encourages me to follow my dream and I am excited that I am being drawn to like minded people, who are also searching for their place in this world.

I don't know how I will feel tomorrow, but today I know that I feel hopeful. I don't have to feel sad that other people are living their dreams and I am still searching. Because their journey is not mine. I'll get there. I don't have to feel like an outcast when I see people that I've known for years, having get-togethers without me, or new friends that do the same thing. I may have known them all of my life, or only for a short time. But, that doesn't mean they are my circle. And who's to say that if I were invited out with them, that I would even enjoy myself. Our likes and interest are different.  I am unique, quirky, and maybe even a bit odd. And that's fine by me.

I read a quote very early this morning that made me smile, and helped me start my day I will close out my post today with it.

"I used to think I was the strangest person in the world but then I thought there are so many people in the world, there must be someone just like me who feels bizarre and flawed in the same ways I do. I would imagine her, and imagine that she must be out there thinking of me too. Well, I hope that if you are out there and read this and know that, yes, it's true I'm here, and I'm just as strange as you." ~Frida Kahlo