Sharing my life with you, is what I do.

Monday, May 19, 2014

Letting Go, So They Can Grow.

I was sitting at my kitchen table this morning, when I saw a bird fly by. I was struck by the fact that you never see a baby bird flying along side its mom. Tears welled up in my eyes as I thought about my sons. I Have been having a hard time lately. So many changes taking place in their lives and I can't protect them like I used to when they were babies.  My oldest son, Devin is struggling and it is so hard to watch him go through this difficult time in his life. It takes every fiber in my being to not just swoop in and rescue him. But I can't. I have to let him go through this life lesson, so he can grow into the man I know he is. He is a beautiful person. Loving, sensitive and caring. All the things a mother could only hope for their child to be. I hope to see your smile return soon.  My son Khalil; He was my baby for so long. So quiet and shy, I was truly a mother hawk over him and I still am when I really think about it. He is going off to college soon and it is breaking my heart. I will miss his gentle spirit in the house everyday. I want him to know how proud of him I am, and how wonderful I think he is. He has so much greatness in him. He doesn't even realize how amazing he is. I hope he uses this time to embrace his gifts and use them to enrich his life and the lives of those around him. Matthew; I look at him and see so much of myself sometimes, it scares me. He is deep and spiritual and he feels the weight of the world already. But, even with the chaos around him, he can still find beauty in a pebble or a leaf. He was born after a tremendous loss in my life. His birth represented a new beginning and every time I look at him, I am reminded of how precious every moment is and how to look for beauty in the things so many casually walk over. Kyan; I can't even say his name without smiling. He is one of the purest souls I have ever met. He loves with every cell in his body. He was my biggest baby. A whopping 10lbs 2 ozs! He is now the tiniest thing in the house, but growing by leaps and bounds nonetheless. I look at him, all of them and wonder where the time has gone. Ky brings things full circle with my sons. He helps me understand that ultimately, all I can do is be their mom. I can love them, care for them, teach them, but at some point they will all leave the nest. My prayer is that I have nourished them properly enough for their wings to carry them to wherever they want to go. I can't wait to watch them soar.