It's been a minute since I've updated my blog. I've thought about it daily, but I've been going through so much lately. I had hoped to post one after I finished my first cycle of chemo. I was feeling pretty good and the doctors were telling me that I was over the hardest part of the 16 week cycle. That, unfortunately, has not been the case. I went to treatment #5 ready to get it started. I took all my pre-meds, donned my groovy socks and went in. The infusion was much longer this time around (3 hours) and it made me really tired right away, but I was just glad to be done. 2 days later I still felt super tired, and I developed numbness and painful tingling in my hands and feet. This was one of the side effects they said could happen while on the Taxol. I was really hoping to avoid that. However, I wasn't prepared for the pain started on Sunday. I thought it was just because I had been sedentary and I needed to stretch and walk. I did that, but the pain didn't subside. It got worse. Much Worse!! My whole body felt like I had the worse bout of the flu ever. If only it was something as simple. Apparently, I got a side effect that was never mentioned. I was put on round the clock painkillers and all I could do is cry. The pain lasted for 5 days. It's been a rough time. I haven't had any energy. I've only left my house twice in 2 weeks. To say that mentally, physically and spiritually I've been dealing with some things is a huge understatement. Even now, It's difficult for me to formulate my thoughts to blog about. All I know is, I'm still hopeful that I can get through this. I have chemo again this Thursday and I'm not looking forward to it one bit. I'm not feeling much like a warrior right now. I'm feeling like a regular woman, wife, and mom who just wishes that cancer never existed. Who wishes she could have the energy to cook dinner for her family again(not that they can't do for themselves, I just miss doing it). go out with her husband, and not miss her sons' concerts at school because I can't get out of the bed. I'm sad. I'm scared, and I just want to get well. I'm hoping to look at all of these posts one day and say, "WOW! I came through a lot, but I made it." On a good note, I still find a reason to smile everyday. I have a ton to be thankful for and I count every blessing.
Through it all, I send you all Peace and Love
No comments:
Post a Comment