Sharing my life with you, is what I do.

Wednesday, January 2, 2013

Life without my dad

I have been wanting to write a new blog post for a few weeks, but I am just really able to get my thoughts together. My dad, who I mentioned in my last post, lost his battle with cancer on November 30th 2012. He had been diagnosed with Leukemia on October 29th after already dealing with MDS, a cancer-like disease that occurs when radiation treatments for cancer destroy the bodies ability to make blood cells in the bone marrow. After this last diagnosis, my dad decided that he didn't any further treatment. He knew that he wanted to spend whatever time he had left at home. I am so glad he was able to do that. I asked him was he satisfied with is decision to not have any more treatments. He said he was very happy with the choice he made. He wanted to be home with those that loved him. He got his wish. He was surrounded by friends and family up until the moment he took his last breath.

What a surreal experience it is to watch someone make their transition. I have been in that position twice in my life. First time with my daughter and then again with my dad. There are no words to describe how I feel, after having watched my daughter and father take their last breaths. It is a bit numbing. I still reach for the phone at times to call my dad. And, I still think of my daughter everyday. There was no big funeral or gathering at a grave site for my father, just a simple memorial as he requested. He had me come over his house a week before he died, so he could dictate his obituary to me and his final wishes. I was honored that he asked me to do this for him. I haven't been able to shed any tears since his passing. I try and attribute this to my having come to grips with the severity of his illness, but I believe it has something to do with my not wanting to ever feel that much sadness again. So, I begin this year of 2013 without my dad. I am thankful for the time I did have with him and grateful that he and I had worked out a lot of our differences and spent his last days together smiling and laughing with one another.

Norman L. Board
October 28th 1939-November 30th 2012

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