If you read my last post, then you know how incredibly sad I was. Now, part of me actually wanted to delete that post because I was so down at the time. But, when I started writing about my cancer journey, I promised that I would be completely honest. Even, if that meant sometimes I might seem like an unstable, on the verge of a major breakdown person. I also kept the post up to show that people have those "hill and valley" moments. That's normal. I don't know anyone that is happy and jovial all the time. Life just isn't like that. Not mine anyway.
Since my last post, the dark clouds looming over me have cleared. My mood is much better and I'm no longer profoundly sad. I still searching for my purpose, but I'm not obsessing over it. I am concentrating more on living in the moment. That's not easy for me. I am a classic over-thinker. I am one of those people that creates scenarios in my head and then my imagination runs off with them causing my nervous system to react as if they have actually happened when they haven't. I blame this on being a writer and actor. I am currently working on this with the help of my acupuncture therapist. She has given me some great tolls when my mind starts "roaming." I also find it helps to pick up my journal and just start writing. I'm not 100% where I want to be. I still battle with depression and anxiety as I have since I was a child. But, I am learning better ways to not let those down days drag on into down weeks.
Anyway, I just wanted to jump on quickly and thank those that are still reading my blog. It hasn't always been easy to be so transparent with my life and the ups and downs that come along with being me. But, it has been rewarding to have people tell me that they appreciate my candor.
So, today I am hopeful that ultimately, I will find my place in this world. Until then, I will keep trying. That's all any of us really can ever do.
Thanks for reading
Peace and Love, good people
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