The case for morning alcohol drinking...or why does this only happen to me?

 

  So, yesterday my husband woke up late for work. This meant that he wasn't going to have the time to get Gunther outside. He ALWAYS gets Gunther out. It is one of the few things I count on. A constant supply of strong coffee, green tea and me not having to let Gunther out in the morning.  I mean, I let him out in the afternoon, but it is something about having to roll out of bed after only 3-4 hours of sleep to feed Gunther and wipe his mouth before he covers you in drool that doesn't scream,GOOD MORNING! However it is an effective weight loss tool. After having to stand nearby while he eats and drinks is enough to severely cut your appetite for hours. YUCK.

  Being the mother that I am, I got past all the drool and got him outside. Of course there has to be drama that comes along with that, because I was the one that let him outside. So, what I didn't mention was, a few weeks ago someone stole the gate to our back fence. It was old and broken, but that was no excuse for someone to drive down our alley and steal it. Anyway, since we had no door to our back fence anymore, we had to devise a makeshift barrier so the dogs couldn't get out. We found our two large city garbage receptacles covered the space nicely. However, it was also easy for neighborhood strays (four legged and two legged) to easily get in. To help out, my husband placed a large piece of scrap drywall out there to help. Yes, it does look as tacky as you imagine, but it keeps the dogs in the yard.

  The problem is, on garbage day, which is Wednesday, they move the cans and never put them back. So, I went outside with Gunther to move the cans back. What I didn't anticipate was Gunther running ahead of me and jumping over the 2 foot piece of drywall and going right out into the alley at the same time a man in a pickup truck was coming down the alley. You know how you play out an entire scene in your head and pray what you see doesn't happen? No? Maybe that's just me. Thankfully, the man in the pickup truck had really good brakes and probably didn't want to replace the entire grill on his truck. Gunther literally missed getting hit by 2 inches. All I could think of (AGAIN) was that I was going to have to call Paul and have him come home because either Gunther had been badly hurt, or worse yet, killed. I realized at that moment that I function quite often without a heartbeat. I swear it stopped for several minutes as I went out in the alley and tried to retrieve Gunther. As I passed by the gentleman's truck, he opened his window and said, "How are you"? I replied, with my still non-beating heart, "Good, how are you"? He drove off down the alley and soon the fact and panic that Gunther was loose in the alley without a leash took over. My mind raced with the thought of, "If Gunther decides to gallop off down the alley, there is no way I can catch him". Thank God for a dog's passion for smelling other dogs.  A neighbor a few doors down just got a new puppy and his smell attracted Gunther just long enough for me to get a hold of his collar. I mustered up my best stern voice, pulled him back down the alley and told him to get back in the yard. He jumped back over the piece of drywall and I pulled the garbage cans back into place. I got him back inside and proceeded to shake like a leaf for the next 30 minutes.

  The whole ordeal had to only last maybe 3 minutes, but it felt like an hour. I called Paul and told him what happened and he apologized for not fixing the gate sooner. I contemplated having a really large glass of wine for breakfast but figured, that probably wouldn't be a good idea. Especially since I soon had to start our daily homeschool lessons. I settled for a cup of hot tea instead. I looked at the clock on my microwave and figured that it would take about 7 hours for me to calm down.... Just in time for Gunther's afternoon walk.