A Grateful Heart

I greet you this morning with a grateful heart. I was sitting at my computer, drinking a very large cup of pomegranate green tea. When all of a sudden, this feeling of sheer gratitude washed over me. A big smile came to my face as I realized how truly blessed I am. I have a wonderful family and I have had some really great experiences in my life. As I have said before I'm sure, we get so caught up in the drudgery of our day to routines, that we forget all the really cool things we have done and how amazing our lives really have been. At least, I know I do. When I laid my head down last night, I was a stressed out mess. My head hurt, my shoulders were tense and aching and I felt like I couldn't make it another day. I have had that feeling a million times, so I know that is when I need to recharge. I said my prayers, kissed my little ones and got some rest. I woke up, got the boys ready for school and out the door and that's when I thought, "Hmmm. I did make it another day". My head doesn't hurt and my shoulders don't ache and I am thankful. Thankful, grateful and blessed. In this moment, all is right with my world. And even if the rest of my day is crazy and chaotic and yes, stressful. I will try and remember this moment, this feeling and hold on to the realization that no matter what, with God's grace, I can make it another day.

Here's hoping you find that moment in your own lives today.

Peace and Love, Everybody

Marvel Avenger's Giveaway!!!

It's been a little while since I have had a chance to do a giveaway. So, this one is a great way to get the ball rolling again. The fantastic people at Marvel are giving you the opportunity to win a fabulous prize pack!

 

Passing it on

Goodness, this year is just flying by! April is almost over. It makes me feel weird inside like I have to hurry up and do stuff. The swiftly passing months and years, feel me with a sense of urgency to not waste time on trivial things. I have to remember what's important and what isn't. Family is always important to me. So is creating and having those experiences that they will hold on to a lifetime. One such recent moment was when I took my sons with me to the food pantry where I do volunteer work. I could imagine them asking me a million times when we were going home. To my surprise, they never did that. They got right to work, helping me with the bags filled with meat, fruit and vegetables. They watched as the numbers were called and person after person came up to receive their food. It was the busiest day the food pantry had seen in a long time. We gave out almost 400 bags! We emptied out every shelf, refrigerator and freezer in the pantry that day. Some of the last bags hardly had anything in them, but the people were still grateful to receive them.

We finished up our work and began our walk back home. My 9 year old son, MJ looked up at me and said, "That is the kind of work I want to do all the time." He went on the say, "I will never take my food for granted again".

 To hear my son say that he was blessed to have the food he does everyday,warmed my heart. I am not sure who got more out of working at the pantry that day, but I was really glad to share that experience with my little guys. I'm not really even sure if that experience will stay with him, but I certainly won't ever forget.

Peace

BLOG! Darn it. BLOG!!!!

That's how I feel a lot of mornings. I want to blog and share stuff with everyone, but I am really feeling out of sync. Maybe it's the constant chaos of the kids, house, grades, car troubles, bills etc... And on top of all that, we have construction going on right next door to my house Monday-Saturday starting at 7:00 a.m. And this is no simple home renovation, let me tell you. This is a full blown, knocking out concrete walls, jack hammer, power saw, valium needing construction job! But, I digress.

I do have something to share with you. I think I may be in the middle of a mid-life crisis. This year, (God willing) I will be 45 years old. I have been wondering exactly which direction to go in now with my life. I have lots of interests and I even have a few talents. I just can't seem to make up my mind as to what I should be doing.

Maybe I don't have to do just one thing. I mean, I have never been the type of person that just focused on one thing. I always have a million things going on in my head at one time. I guess that's why I forget to write  the blog. There are days when I write everyday, and then POOF! Nothing for a month or so. I do have to remember though that I started writing the blog as a form or relaxation. I think I get caught up in reading all the other blogs out there and seeing what they are doing that I lose my focus. I just do want to be so scattered all the time. I want to be able to have an answer when people ask me what I do.

There's that word again. (FOCUS) Let me pause a moment and take a breath.....

My thoughts are all over the place and I will start to ramble on if I don't just take a minute. I think I need to regroup and figure out just what it is I actually want. I do know that I have always wanted to act and I help kids. I think about it everyday. People say, "Go to school. Be a teacher." I never wanted to do that. O still don't I think of doing it, but I more for them than myself.  I always wanted to be artsy and creative and hang out with groovy people. (yeah, I said groovy) I always envisioned myself traveling the world, speaking at least eight different languages and taking the money I had earned from acting to open up youth centers or something like that. Places where kids could go after-school and feel safe, get help with homework. The kind of place where they could take an acting, art, music, dance class or just know there was someone there they could talk too.

Sometimes, I get sad because it feels like I won't be able to do that.I mean, honestly there aren't too many 45 year old black women getting discovered in Chicago and going to Hollywood. But, the sadness goes away when I realize that even though I may never get that big movie role, I may be able to help someone else live their dreams. I start with my kids. They are a lot like me. ( not sure if that is bad or good yet) They have a lot of talents and dreams, but they have no idea what they want to do yet and that is okay. Even though colleges are bombarding my 16 year old with brochures about his future as a mechanical engineer. I secretly hope he decides to follow his dreams of living in Italy and designing cars. Even if that means he doesn't go to college. I just want them all to be happy.

I have no desire to live my life through my sons though. Their lives are their own. I want them to be able know that it's okay to not know it all and to keep rediscovering themselves in the process.

Hmm? I think I just had a "light bulb moment".(don't tell Oprah I used her phrase). Turning 45 doesn't mean I have to have it all figured out. I am still in the process of discovering who I am too.I can still dream and hope and learn new things about myself. I guess that's what life is. At least for me anyway.

I close out the blog today feeling much better than when I started it.

I remember the words to a song that I call my "theme song".
It is called,  UNWRITTEN by Natasha Bedingfield

I am unwritten, can't read my mind, I'm undefined
I'm just beginning, the pen's in my hand, ending unplanned


Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find


Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten



Yep! And that's just fine with me. Peace and Love ♥

Spring Break 2012

Spring break could not have come soon enough for me this year! It has been a serious roller coaster ride this school year. But isn't it always a trip when you have kids? They were really getting antsy those last couple of days in school. Luckily, my husband is also off this week so that has made the week even better. My boys have been enjoying their week so far. They have been content to go to the park, ride their bikes and play the occasional video game. We have also celebrated Earth Hour, gone bowling, had a play date, done lots of bird watching (where discovered two new sparrow species to our feeders) and built lots of things out of legos. The week is going so fast though! I had planned all these wonderful outings and figured we would get out everyday and visit the museums and the aquarium and see the sites of our city. I should have learned by now that that never, EVER turns out the way I see it in my head. I am really not disappointed at all though. The extra hours of sleep have been welcomed. I think we should learn to take more cues from our children. We can have the grandest of ideas and plans, when all that is required is an open ear and a willingness to walk up and down the basement stairs to see the latest masterpiece made out of cardboard boxes.

I do still hope to get out to at least one museum before the week is over. And then the serious countdown begins.

To what you say? SUMMER BREAK!

Not sure who wants it more this year. Them or me.

Peace